


Emptying the Waters

by littlebirdlara



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I guess that's the best fit, M/M, Naruto is there to help, Sasuke is traumatized and he needs to process some things, but Sasuke has the most present role
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebirdlara/pseuds/littlebirdlara
Summary: Sasuke decides to visit the place that was his home. He realizes that the home he's thought to have lost has now found a different shape.(AKA these characters all need therapy and if Kishi is not willing to let them properly process traumatic events then I will do it myself)





	Emptying the Waters

_Splash._

  
_Clack._

  
  
Once more the water drips down the empty walls of a bamboo stem. Eventually the balance shifts and the end of the stem filled with water tilts... _Splash._ Water returns to water. Finally, the heavier part of the bamboo crashes down with another resounding _Clack._

  
The Uchiha compound's garden is overgrown - the people who had once tended to it long gone. Crickets chirp their song incessantly in tune with the cicadas despite the thick fog of silence that drapes itself over the area, accompanied by the soothing rhythm set by bamboo hitting stone. Despite all the life that was lost here, this little space now seems to brim with newfound energy. More than it did even while there was still someone around. _What irony._

  
Sasuke scoffs at that thought as he watches his reflection distort with another splash. Even after all these years, it is hard for him to confront reality without feeling bitter. Who would have thought. Well, things _are_ getting better, though. The numbness that had once settled into his mind, the cold in his heart, the anger in his bones... all the darkness that had surrounded him - that he chose to surround himself with - had long since turned into a shade of grey. Some days are still overwhelmingly dark, threatening to drown Sasuke in an abyss of depression. But the days he considers bright have become more and more numerous over time, calling for him to stay.

  
Today, however, is definitely a dark grey. Sasuke had sworn to himself that he'd never set another foot into this place, yet here he is. So much had happened. He had seen _so_ much. He had hoped that maybe now, after everything he put himself through, he would be able to face his past, with a new set of eyes. He couldn't ignore his trauma forever (much as he wanted to) if he wanted to embrace the future. But the moment his hand had rested on the door to the room where it had taken place... he couldn't bring himself to open it. He felt the smell of blood seep into his skin, draining him of his strength and... _oh god he was feeling nauseous._

  
That's when he had decided to instead take a look at the state of the Japanese garden. The height of the grass was almost annoying to walk through now, but he found a spot next to the shishi odoshi, the bamboo fountain, and sat down. Maybe if he sat there long enough, he would be able to avoid going through that dreadful process again. Or maybe he would get bored and try again some other day. It used to be so much easier when he forced himself to shut away all his emotions. But then again, there were a lot of different problems that had caused, and he's still living with the consequences. Maybe it's better to get it over with after all. But there's no rush, right? So he continues to sit there, listening to the entrancing sound of water and the song of nature.

  
Sasuke must have spaced out watching the shishi odoshi's cycle because he didn't notice when someone sat down beside him. Until that someone spoke.

  
  
\- "I had a feeling you'd be here. I couldn't find you anywhere else."

  
Naruto. Of course.  
Sasuke shifts his weight and leans back on his hand, making a point not to directly look at him in case his vulnerability was showing. He knew he could be himself around Naruto, but this still needed some getting used to.

  
"Naruto," he pauses ", remind me not to ever bother sending you an invitation to anything, seeing as you just invite yourself in without one anyway."

  
Naruto laughs. And Sasuke doesn't have to look to know how it shows all over his face - feelings genuine and open for the world to see.

  
\- "Alright, I see, I see. If you're still able to joke like this," there is a bump of shoulders", then I might have been worried for nothing."

  
Sasuke noticed that, the casual show of affection. That was also something that he was still getting used to.

  
"Actually... I'm glad you're here." That perks the blonde boy's attention.

  
"I don't think I can do this alone. Not this."

  
Now their eyes meet and Sasuke can see in the change of Naruto's expression that he probably looks more miserable than he was willing to admit.

  
\- "You know I'm here for you... always. What can I do to help?"

Dammit, Naruto. There he goes again, stirring the rusty machinery in his heart back to life. There is conviction in his words, forming a pillar of support that Sasuke knows he can lean on without having to fear for it to fall apart like most things in his life. With a gesture that is untypically unsure for him, he reaches for Naruto's hand, lacing their fingers together.

  
"Just stay with me."

  
Naruto squeezes his hand reassuringly and then pulls both of them up.

\- "I don't think I could part ways with you even if I wanted."

  
"Way to be dramatic."

  
\- "As if you're one to talk!"

____________________________

  
They walk silently hand-in-hand through the compound. Sasuke can tell by the way Naruto keeps leaning in... and away again, that he's trying to say something but doesn't seem to find the proper words. He always finds it funny when that walking loudspeaker shows that he can struggle with speaking as well. He's probably overthinking how to best approach this situation without getting him hurt. Sasuke thinks it's endearing. But he wouldn't ever want to admit that. Especially not out loud.

  
Every now and then they stop and Sasuke explains what kind of memories the places evoke. It's very hard to blend out the gruesome picture that was planted in his head that night. Even so, he tries his best to focus on the more positive impressions he has of this location.

  
"I would always run along this street on my way back from the Ninja Academy and my aunt would wave and smile at me, asking me how my day was. But before she had even finished speaking, I would be long gone. I was a pretty excited kid, back then. I couldn't wait running home to talk to my brother."

  
\- "What, you? Excited?! Like beaming all across the face?"

  
"I know, right. Unbelievable."

  
\- "I wish I could have seen that."

  
"Anyway," Sasuke would prefer not to fall into Naruto's famous you-should-smile-more-trap ", this is the main street that also leads to where I used to live with my family."

  
\- "Are we... going there?"

  
"Maybe later... I think I need a bit more time to steel myself. It's... bad. I'd like to go somewhere else first if you don't mind."

  
As if to remind them of their still connected hands, Naruto rubs his thumb soothingly across Sasuke's palm.

  
\- "Just lead the way, my one and only."

  
"Naruto. Please. Read the mood."

  
\- "But you know I can't read! Wait, that's not what I meant to say-"

  
A hint of a smile creeps across Sasuke's face. That idiot. He's doing it on purpose.

  
"Come then. Before you make an even bigger fool of yourself than you already are."

____________________________

  
The path strays from the paved road to soft grass meeting mud. The first steps into the forest training area are always unsteady as one gets used to uneven footing, but the steps that follow fall into place easily.  
They reach a sort of clearing with various targets that are worn with practice. A soft breeze dances through the leaves, rustling holes into the silence.

  
Sasuke reluctantly lets go of Naruto's hand to grab one of the kunais lying on the forest ground. He spins it around his finger with ease before throwing it at the furthest target with one quick, precise motion. _Thonk._ He picks up another one. _Thonk. Thonk - Clank - Thonk._ All clean hits.

  
"It's just not the same without him."

  
\- "You mean your brother?"

  
Sasuke stays quiet for a while. Too many memories rushing through his mind at once, threatening to spill over and open old wounds.

  
\- "You miss him, don't you?"

  
"Yeah." Sasuke sees Naruto open his mouth again. "Let's not talk about him."

And Naruto gives him one of those looks that basically screams empathy. Sasuke turns his head away, feeling as though he'd otherwise let him peel away his cold façade, to reveal his most vulnerable state.

  
His heart aches. That would be something to unpack another day. Something he needed to process properly over the course of days, months, and years probably. Sasuke doesn't think he will ever truly process the story of his brother and his clan - too many regrets, too much pain. But he wants to make peace with his own heart at least. He needs to.

  
"I think I'm ready now."

  
\- "You sure? Don't push yourself too hard, Sasuke."

  
"Yes. Let's just go or I'll change my mind."

  
The walk back to the residential area, to Sasuke's house, feels like torture. Like thousands of needles sinking through his soul, feelings of guilt and resentment resurface. He had committed the crime of surviving and this was his punishment.

  
For a while, his hand hovers over the entrance to the room where he saw his parents die. This is it. That night has already gone on for far too long. Just one proper look would be enough to end it forever. The past has its place but it's time it makes room for the future. All that's left is opening the door. What are you standing around there so long for. Open. the door.

  
Another hand softly lands on top of his. Onto the handle.

  
\- "Don't forget, you're not alone. I'm here with you."

  
Sasuke hears the words, but he's too far away to reply - his mind already somewhere else. Images flashing past his head several miles a second, bringing that night back to life and overwhelming all his senses. He smells blood.

  
He opens the door.

  
Sasuke sees an empty room, then blood. Walls faded of color, a dusty floor, then blood. Past and present images pull at each other, with Sasuke caught in between, tearing at the fabrics of reality. Why did you do this. It was a test of power. That's not true. You know now that he's lying. You know the truth. You have lost everything that night. You were lost. But now you're found. So, focus! You're in control now. You can change things. So come back to the present. Come back! SASUKE!

  
Sharp exhale. He hunches down and grabs at his chest as he tries to steady his breathing.

  
\- "Oh thank god, you've snapped out of it! I've been calling your name for ages!"

  
Sasuke looks up at his boyfriend, whose worry was clear on his face. His gaze then wanders around the room - no more blood. No lifeless bodies that once held so much love. No pain. Just an empty room that desperately needs some cleaning. He wipes at his eyes and lets the realization set in.

  
He props himself up on Naruto's shoulder, then walks to the window and opens it. Slowly the air that stood stagnant starts circulating. As the wind picks up outside smells and sounds, life begins to explore this neglected room.

Sasuke closes his eyes for a bit. He fears that the next words will otherwise betray the whirl of emotion inside him and blur his vision.

"I don't think I'm anywhere close to being okay with this yet, but... it's getting better. Slowly. Thank you, Naruto, for being there for me."

Naruto takes his place next to Sasuke, leaning against him. You can clearly hear the sounds from the Japanese garden from here.

\- "I was thinking... this place is too pretty to waste away like this. Why don't we come here more often?"

"You know. I think I'd like that."

It would hurt at first but he has no doubt that the memories he is going to make will be worth it. Maybe today wasn't so dark after all.

He lets his thoughts drift along the waves of the wind until the song of crickets and cicadas is the only sound taking up his mind.  
  
  
  
_Splash._

  
  
_Clack._

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a long time, but I still hope that some of you enjoy this! I definitely had fun exploring Sasuke's POV.
> 
> Also, if you haven't ever heard the sound of a shishi odoshi before:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AigVsMveSOM


End file.
